So Slater was doing his best Robocop impression when it hit us: we didn’t know what his prime directives were. Hmm. “Hey! That’s what the internets are for,” quoth I. If you’re actually looking for the answer, it’s at the bottom of the page, but here’s my findings.
I know I misspelt my query and missed out the crucial “prime” factor, but I will be fucked if I’m going to do it all again and take new screenshots and stuff. I’ve got a life, you know?


Conclusion
The internets still, for all their brouhaha, can’t answer a straight question. I guess that’s no real surprise, if someone like Slater – a geek to his fingertips – can’t answer the same question. There’s also a lesson here about why so many searches are weird, truncated, pidgin-English phrases. What we we want to ask, and the language we use to actually get the answer are still way out of kilter. Predictably, Google comes closest to an answer by highlighting the relevant part of the Wikipedia page, but even then: no straight answer to a straight question is forthcoming. The first people to crack that will blow Google out of the water.
Robocop’s Prime Directives Were…
- “Serve the public trust”
- “Protect the innocent”
- “Uphold the law”
- (Classified)



