Migraine auras can ruin your perception of the female form

There’s been a lot of speculation in the media about my health. I’d just like to take this opportunity to reassure you that rumours of my death are unfounded.

However, I have had a brush with weirdness.

So last Friday I was minding my business and pottering around the internet doing “stuff” as you do, when my vision was suddenly filled with spiralling patterns and zig zags and flashes. Minutes later I was struck with blinding pain and retired to a bedroom to try and clear my head where eventually I fell asleep. When I awoke all was well again so I put it down to some kind of borderline migraine and carried on with my legitimate activities.

Since then, 3 or 4 times the flashing has returned for periods of 10 or 15 minutes each. It starts as a small circle of  sparkling patterns in the centre of my vision which then spreads outwards till it more of less fills my vision. And then as suddenly and as mysteriously as it arrived, it leaves.

Anyway, if you were – hypothetically speaking – to be looking at a picture of Megan Fox during your attack, this is a not-really-all-that-accurate-but-you-get-the-idea kind of thing you’d see.

Megan Fox Nude. Except for knickers. As seen by someone with migraine aura.

So I’ve been to the docs now and the upshot is I have a “migraine aura”. Somehow related to proper migraines it is in my case unaccompanied by much in the way of pain. Apparently, 15% of migraines take this form, attacks cluster for a short spell, and when this current spell passes I might find it recurs in a few months or simply vanishes never to return.

Now, I’m no student of medicine, but that sounds to me very much like “we’re making this up”.

Anyway, fears of a brain tumour are now scotched and if you’ll excuse me I’m going to find another picture of Megan Fox.