Don’t fuck with me, ASDA. (Oh – and Gordon Brown’s a moron)

ASDA gave me the single most satisfying working day of my life when, as a callow 17 year old, I was equipped with a U.V. light and a hammer and told to go kill the scorpions that were living under some temporary freezer units at the back of the store. Since then, our relationship has gone downhill a bit. I was a loyal ASDA-only shopper until that rascally little robot WALL-E took them over and started to change things. Firstly, while they stick their chest out and parade around the estate proclaiming themselves to be Britain’s cheapest supermarket on the basis of that thing with the baskets, they’ve surreptitiously bumped the price of loads of other stuff by whacking an ‘extra special’ label. The one that really fries my cheese is the chorizo – which was a humble £1.49 until some wiseacre put on the extra special sticker, at which point it become, magically, £2.49. Today it’s the thick end of three quid for exactly the same fucking product.

You cheeky, cheeky bastards

I’m going to go out on a limb and publicly proclaim that in the main I’m not a moron. ASDA must think I am though, because they’ve introduced their second great scam over recent years – charging more per unit for multisave items. I’ve seen it a few times in store, but put it down to mistakes etc. However, here they are – caught in the act on the internets. A single 20og tin of Prince’s Corned Beef costs £1. A 3 pack of the same costs… wait for it… £3.28! My stunted, rarely-glimpsed internal mathmetician just combusted with rage. Anyone else seen this going on before?

In other news…

Gordon is a moron

Gordon Brown removes any lingering doubt about his mental capacity by claiming that the internet “is as vital as water” in a piece in The Times today. I’ll make sure that the next time I find myself lost on Namibia’s Skeleton Coast that I’ve got a dongle with me as a matter of priority so I can ride out its arid, inhospitable conditions in comfort then shall I?