As an allergy sufferer (peanuts, cats, pine trees, penicillin and work, since you ask) I’ve got wearyingly used to “this product may contain cats” warning on things down the years. The trouble is that everything is now made in one massive factory in Krakow or someplace. There’s just no telling if Marta Jacynzk has wandered from the KP salted nuts production line to flirt with Tomasz Zkyncksji, the handsome operator of the Dairylea packing machine and inadvertently contaminated the latter with nut dust. The little harlot.
Add to that the fact that “where there’s blame there’s a claim”, “no win no fee” and a populace stupid enough to come within a whisker of making Jedward the first global megastars of the new century and you wind up with this – a label I believe to be the single lowest point of humanity’s achievements. So without further preamble, I give you ASDA’s allergy advice on its milk.
Well fuck me sideways
I remember the time you ate that brownie from the vending machine and your head swelled up like a watermelon. Good Times!
I remember when you were 5ft 6. On – hang on, no I don’t.
Don’t Poles dust their nuts? The dirty bastards…
I guess living in a dirty port town you know all about foreign cultures, so I’m prepared to take your word for it.
I had a chocolate-and-nut bar (yes, I know what image that conjures up) that said “may contain nuts” on it.
I don’t know what was worse – that they felt they had to warn me, or that it there was a chance that my “choco nutty” bar might, in fact, just be a “choco” bar after all.
Sickening.
I noticed the other day that my bottle of tomato ketchup “contains milk”.
What the fuck is milk doing in tomato ketchup? Has it always been there?
Trust me on this one Kitty, we Poles dust nuts at every opportunity.
I bow to your superior cultural knowledge on such matters, Ms Kate, and rescind any allegations of shoddy hygiene in the nut arena