As an allergy sufferer (peanuts, cats, pine trees, penicillin and work, since you ask) I’ve got wearyingly used to “this product may contain cats” warning on things down the years. The trouble is that everything is now made in one massive factory in Krakow or someplace. There’s just no telling if Marta Jacynzk has wandered from the KP salted nuts production line to flirt with Tomasz Zkyncksji, the handsome operator of the Dairylea packing machine and inadvertently contaminated the latter with nut dust. The little harlot.

Add to that the fact that “where there’s blame there’s a claim”, “no win no fee” and a populace stupid enough to come within a whisker of making Jedward the first global megastars of the new century and you wind up with this – a label I believe to be the single lowest point of humanity’s achievements. So without further preamble, I give you ASDA’s allergy advice on its milk.

miilk allergy

Well fuck me sideways