7 reasons people would link to you

So you’re sat on page 9 of the SERPS for the killer phrase in your industry (“britney’s vaginoplasty”) and looking up at the first page where all the blokes there are making a killing off that phrase and you’re wondering: “how the fuck do they get all those links?”

1. You’ve got a good website

High on the list of Dumb Fucking Mistakes is just having a really shit website. The internets was invented like 150 years ago or something and we arrived at a rough acumen of what works about 70 years ago. Clear navigation. Interesting content. A design that doesn’t interfere with the main purpose of your site but creates a good brand impression. Despite that, 88% of all websites look like shit, read even worse and often fail to work properly. If you want someone to like what you do, then make it likeable.

2. You’ve got a point of view

Can you remember that sitcom from the mid 80s? With Anton whatshisface and That Woman in it? You remember: they had a house together and they might have been married. Ummm? Things that lack distinguishing features don’t elicit any kind of emotional response and thus slip from our minds. The same is true of news stories, pop songs and- yes – websites. If you want people to respond to you (and therefore link back to you) you should stick your neck out. Say something outrageous. Poke a stick at a hornet’s nest from time to time. If someone is going to rebut what you’re saying, they’re still going to give you a link.

3. You pay them

Yeah yeah, I know. It’s illegal and Google will chew your nuts off for linkbuying. But here’s a tip: people will link for cash. Just because Google is wagging their finger doesn’t change that simple fact. Just do it carefully. Choose an on-topic site. Look for past links out of the site and see if they’re easily identifiable as paid. Definitely keep an eye out for sidebar ads for paid content networks. See how the blogger/site responds to your initial enquiry. And then, if you’re happy with the site and the price, buy away!

4. You’ve got an awesome viral idea

OK. This is one of those things that’s easy to say but hard to carry off. Which is why it isn’t cheap! But Britney’s vaginoplasty would lend itself to maybe a game (“perform your own vaginoplasty against the clock!”) a skill bit of content (“10 reasons Britney should have a vaginoplasty”) or your common or garden picture story with “expert commentary”. Thinking about your content in those terms gives you a ‘hook’ to promote through sites like Twitter or Facebook. If it breaks out into the mass consciousness then links can roll in for years down the line as bloggers pick up the story from emails etc etc etc.

5. You’ve got something new

Kind of a subset of both ‘great content’ and ‘have an opinion’ is just having something that’s current. I fill my blog with meandering thoughts about how my band was formed 17 years ago or whatever, which is great for me personally and might raise a chuckle in a visitor, but isn’t exactly news. So keep a weather eye on what’s happening in your market and respond to it as quickly as you can. Will you beat the The Daily Mail to the exclusive story of how immigrants cause cancer? Probably not: but if you’re talking about something that’s happening now then that’s the window of opportunity to get some links in.

6. You subtly point out yourself

OK. So it’s the very height of Gay to be posting on other people’s blogs to say “hey! I posted about this too!” but really until you’ve got a readership how else are you going to get people to find your content? Once people start to read your brilliant, incisive commentary on rabbit hutches they’ll start to come back to read some more. And then they do that, eventually you’ll spark an idea off in their head and tip you a link. Having said that, the number of sites that have the phrase “I was reading Nobody’s Listening today, and Carps said…” is as close to zero as makes no difference but you get the point, non?

7. You have a shitty list format thing. Rather like this one

Don’t ask me why – because these things were done to death about 8,000,000 years ago, but people still love a punchy little list. So organise your great, timely, relevant content into a pithy little format, go out there and whore yourself out a bit and hey! People will link to you. Personally I feel like shooting myself in the head just for writing this but it’s a long slow Tuesday and I’ve got 8000 backlinks to sift through.